The Unsung Emotions of Christmas:
Sadness
Pastor Mathew Magera – 12/2/15 – Sermon 130
St. Thomas Lutheran Church, Trufant, MI
To God be the Glory!
Grace and peace to you from
God our Father, from our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit.
Amen.
If there is anything I want
you to get out of this message, it’s this: The Psalmist David writes, "Weeping
may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning." Let’s be
honest, sadness is not one of the big emotions around the Christmas story. We
don’t sing, “Hark! The Herald Angels Weep.” Even in the song “Away in a Manger”,
when the cattle are lowing and the poor baby wakes, the little Lord Jesus, no
crying he makes. Surely, our focus should be on the joy of the birth of Jesus,
but life’s circumstances warrant that we not ignore the sadness experienced by
many people during the hustle and bustle of this holiday season.
There once was a boy who
came home sad and disappointed. His mother asked him how his game went. "I
struck out three times," he said. His mother came to console him.
"That's part of the game dear, everyone strikes out from time to
time." "But mom," he said, "it's tee ball."
I wonder if sometimes we
want life to be like tee ball. We want to be able to step right up to the
plate, have the ball right there at the perfect height, dig in, do the Babe
Ruth point, and then take a swing and crush the ball. But, what happens when
it's not as predictable as that? What happens when everything is how it is
supposed to be, and you strike out anyway? Unfortunately, we can't always
predict life and it does a number on our emotions.
We don't get too much
information in our Gospel reading on how exactly Joseph is feeling but we can
only imagine what is going through his mind when Mary tells him she's pregnant.
It might be a slightly awkward conversation.
Disappointment. Sadness.
Men, if you were Joseph, would you believe your fiancé if she said something
like this? Women, if you were Mary and God gave you the gift of a child conceived
by the Holy Spirit, would you be disappointed if your fiancé won't understand?
This part of the story can
bring about a wide range of emotions including sadness. We feel bad for Joseph
who feels betrayed. We feel bad for Mary who can't explain. And at the same
time, as this relationship breaks open like an egg, this event might cause us
to think of the broken relationships in our lives that pop into our heads
around this time of year. Thanksgiving and Christmas time might be big
reminders of loss or hardship. That empty chair at the Christmas dinner. Those
many times when people talk about their families getting closer when you may
not have a large family or be able to be with them. The bright red lettering
over a big box store that says, "believe" but believe what? The very
word can make you feel like you can't believe in anything anymore. You might
feel lost, alone, betrayed, let down. Christmas can be sad. Even the happiest
of us can be reminded of something that could trigger a certain sadness.
So, what do we do? How do we
endure the holidays with this sadness about us? I'm not going to tell you to
get over it, to ignore it or to hide it. If we experience any kind of sadness
during what is said to be a joyful season, we need to deal with it.
Be Honest
About Sadness
We need to be honest about
sadness. But, how easy is that? If we try to express our sadness we risk two
things. We risk ruining someone else’s joy by bringing our sadness into the
picture. We also risk hearing those same helpful but not helpful responses. You
almost expect to hear someone say, "well, get over it, it's
Christmas." "This is no time to be sad." or "Other people
have more reasons to be sad than you." So, not only might we feel sadness,
but now we're feeling guilty about it, as if there is no place for it at all,
which then drives us deeper and deeper into our emotional pit.
We need to be honest about
sadness. The prophet Isaiah cried out to God, "O that you would tear open
the heavens and come down." He gets right in God's face. God, you need to
get involved here. You need come down here and do something about it. In being
honest about our sadness, we should yell at God. Yes, I said yell at God. Make
things better! Make yourself known. Do a miracle! When we're honest about our
sadness, it actually releases the pressure that is building up within. It
doesn't get rid of it all together, but it can help.
Exercise All
Options
When Joseph learned about
Mary's pregnancy, he could have been heartbroken. Someone else had taken his
place. Now, she could mean nothing to him. He didn't want to commit adultery.
Joseph was a man of the law and the only thing he knew he could do was to
leave. He was out of options.
God had a problem with that,
however. God did not want Joseph to leave Mary and God must have known how
Joseph could not have understood what she told him, so God told Joseph
personally. Joseph, a man of the law, was out of options. He had nothing left
to do but to get out of this situation by divorcing his soon-to-be wife. But,
God had something else in mind. God wanted Joseph to be the adopted father to
this child. He was out of options, but God had another.
When we enter this Advent
and Christmas seasons, we can be sad and disappointed for a number of reasons
but the world tells us to put those under the rug. There's no time for sadness
here, we don't you to be depressing us during this most wonderful time of year.
And so we feel like we have to give in, like we have no other options but to
brush our emotions under the rug and put on a happy face. We feel like we, too,
are out of options. But, God has another option.
When God called Joseph to
marry his fiancé, God was providing Joseph with a gift. God gave Joseph the
gift of a child he could call his own. This probably didn't make Joseph feel
much better. He still could have very well felt sad and disappointed because of
what happened. But, even in Joseph's sadness, God still give him something he
could be joyful over. When we feel like we are out of options, know that God
has another.
Accompany One
Another
Life may not always be
predictable. We may strike out three times in tee ball. We might not always
have the greatest relationships. Our closest loved ones may pass away, leaving
an empty chair at our Christmas meals. We might feel alone, betrayed, let down.
We might feel sad. But this is why Christmas happened. God sent his Son Jesus to
be with those who feel alone, betrayed and let down. We might feel we are out
of options but God has another option for us. God has given us the very child
he gave Joseph. God gave Joseph the gift of being an adopted family member of
the Son of God and God gave us that same gift. Fortunately, we are all in God's
family and we are a community that can accompany each other through the ups and
downs of this season. We don’t have to go through it alone.
And when God gave Jesus to
Joseph as his son, it may not have taken the sadness away, but in that moment,
it gave him someone to walk with him in the midst of the sadness and it told
him that his sadness would not last forever. When we get the opportunity to
talk with someone about our feelings or when we talk to someone who experiences
sadness this time of year, we have to understand that it may not take that
sadness away. The Christmas season may be a sad time for some of us and we
can't expect that sadness to go away just like that. But in being honest with
it we might be reminded of the sadness Joseph may have felt. We might see that
God has more options for us when we feel we have none left. We might also see
the gift of Jesus as being someone who can walk with us during our sadness. And
we might also look to the promise that comes in that miraculous birth, the
promise that our sadness is only temporary. The Psalmist David writes, "Weeping
may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning." So, take
heart, you are not out of options, you don't have to hide your sadness, because
God sends to us His Son to comfort us, to strengthen us, and to remind us that
joy does come in the morning. To God be the glory, now and always, Amen.